Whiskey Lullaby
by tonyamic10
Summary: Summary: Jacob and Bella were destined to be together, but mistakes were made on both sides. Their ill-fated love affair was broken apart as soon as it began. The paths they took were filled with self destruction and heartbreak, but eventually out of the ashes; hope was renewed. One shot based on the song Whiskey Lullaby. [AU, Jacob/Bella]


_**~A/N This one has been in the back of my mind for too long, so I finally had to get it out. It is a one shot based on the song: "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley. It's probably one of the saddest songs on my playlist. If you haven't heard it, I highly recommend you listen as you read, maybe several times.**_

_**This one shot comes with a serious hankie alert, this is not for the faint of heart. It's a punch in the gut times two. Let's face it though, if you were a Jacob/Bella shipper in the books, you might have thought it all got wrapped up in a neat and tidy, unrealistic package. I thought the story called for a little reworking and the song inspired me to paint an entirely different picture.**_

_**I would like to give a huge shout out to my friend Urban Rose for pre-reading and crying with me, as well as the lovely banner she tirelessly worked on for the story. I love her so much!**_

_**Copyright disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer is the sole owner of Twilight and all recognizable characters**_

Summary: Jacob and Bella were destined to be together, but mistakes were made on both sides. Their ill-fated love affair was broken apart as soon as it began. The paths they took were filled with self destruction and heartbreak, but eventually out of the ashes; hope was renewed. One shot based on the song Whiskey Lullaby. [AU, Jacob/Bella]

**Whiskey Lullaby**

Heat. A burn she'd denied herself for months had engulfed her like a flame. His breath seared against her neck once more, causing that unfamiliar flare to rise up again. It was like nothing she'd ever read or heard about from loose lips at school. She didn't think it was supposed to be that way the first time. Most girls described it as painful or awkward; barely lasting long enough to give them any satisfaction, but he'd already given it to her several times and it was happening again. He knew it too. He smiled against her.

"That's it, Bells...keep coming over and over. I love you. I want you to feel good," Jacob purred in her ear.

He pulled her impossibly close. She felt like their skin had melded together because of his extreme heat. Her soul somehow singed with his. She tried to clear all other thoughts from her mind and merely concentrate on what was taking place in the here and now. Jacob, her best friend was making love to her. It was never supposed to happen. She was engaged to Edward. They were getting married in a few weeks. She had gone out to check on him one last time after he suffered injuries in the newborn battle. He'd told her not to come, that he needed time but like always, she hadn't listened. It was supposed to be one final goodbye. They had the house to themselves like so many other times, but this time their farewell hug turned into a kiss. It started out soft, like the perfect parting gesture, but then one of them opened up. She swore it was her and not him, but once it happened the rest was inevitable. His mouth took control of hers and she submitted with ease. He covered the inside of her mouth with his taste. She felt all her walls begin to crumble around them. The next step was touch. He'd always been at ease with a friendly squeeze to her hand or an arm tossed lazily over her shoulder, but this was brand new. He wasn't touching her like a friend, he was touching her like a man in need and whatever Jacob needed she was willing to provide. There was no way she was turning back.

"Uh…" he grunted out.

She had no idea those sex noises would turn her on so much. She'd previously imagined something like that would have embarrassed her, but it had the opposite affect on her. She made them right along with him. All her inhibitions lay beneath them with her discarded clothes.

"Yes Jacob, oh...right there, please faster. Again." He quivered and shook with her that last time and she felt warmth fill her from within. He remained intertwined with her a few minutes longer as their breathing calmed. He tentatively pulled out and off her but never completely released his hold on her.

She turned her head to stare in his eyes. "Jake." He pressed a finger to her wet lips.

"Shh Bells, don't talk yet. I don't want to stop feeling it. God, baby...I love you so much. You have no idea."

But she did, finally she understood. She felt how much he loved her and at the same time, she had allowed herself to completely and totally love only him. She was so comfortable and at peace, she must have briefly drifted off, but she soon remembered where she was and opened her eyes. He was smiling at her.

"Hey you." He kissed the tip of her nose. "Are you okay? Are you sore?"

She thought about it as her mind further woke up and sure enough there was an ache there she hadn't felt before. "Just a little."

"I figured, maybe a hot shower would help," he wiggled his eyebrows.

"You mean together?"

"Yeah, unless you don't want to." Did she? She only had to ponder the question a few seconds to realize, of course she did. He took special care of her body in the shower. It was so soothing and so sensual. When they dried off and wrapped up in their towels he suggested feeding their stomachs, so they raided the fridge. They took it all back to his tiny room. Once the snacks were polished off (mostly by him) he tried to ask more about what it all meant, but she deflected all his questions. She climbed in his lap and started it all back up again.

"You sure? I don't want to hurt you." She denied the hurt, she had to experience it all over again before the real hurt came.

The next time had been even better than the first. He must have been on top of the world thinking he knew what it all meant. That made it all the more worse when she sat up in the bed and started getting dressed.

"Stay. I don't want you to go yet."

"I can't Jake, I have to."

"Why?"

"Because you know why."

"So that you can tell him?"

She looked away giving him the first clue that she was about to once and for all rip him to shreds.

"No!" he roared. "You can't be fucking serious, after that? No, I don't believe you. You felt it, we were perfect, you love me more than him."

He was so right. She did, loved him more than she thought possible, but she still had to leave. He had a soul mate out there, she knew it. That would have been their fate. She'd give him all of herself and one day he would have no choice but to leave. She also had made that promise to Edward, to all the Cullen's. Of course, the Volturi were always on her mind as well. She couldn't take a chance, too many people she cared about could get caught in the crossfire.

"I'm sorry Jake, you know what I told you when you were injured."

"Yeah forgive my ignorance for thinking that didn't apply the second you jerked my pants off."

"Jacob, please." She continued getting dressed. He was one step ahead of her, pulling on his shorts and a shirt to follow her outside.

"Please what?" he asked when they made it outside. "Are you seriously going to marry him, let him fuck you with his ice cold dick? Are you going to let his hands touch you the way I just did? You're going to be a lifeless corpse just like all of them, right? That's not what you want any more. You're lying if you say it is."

She walked back towards him. He grabbed her and kissed her hard again. She was proving him right all over again, but when he released her, she still said the same thing.

"Good bye, Jacob I'll always love you. I'm sorry," she whispered.

She had almost made it to her truck when he yelled, "If you do this, it will split me apart. Will sorry be good enough when that happens?"

She turned back around to say one last thing, but the russet wolf was running full speed into the forest, a pile of shredded clothes in his wake.

She went forward with the wedding plans over the next two weeks. She couldn't even remember what her days consisted of when she went to bed each night. Edward bought that she was trying to spend as much time with Charlie as possible and he rarely came into her room at night. If he was outside, she didn't know, but he was sure to hear her constantly crying herself to sleep. Many nights she clung to the phone willing herself to call or for it ring but neither happened.

The day of the wedding came, and Charlie asked one last time before walking down the aisle.

"You sure about this?"

"Yes Dad," she lied again.

The wedding was nothing like she'd ever dreamed of because not one thing there was something she would have chosen or even liked. It was beautiful but it wasn't her. The reception went on for hours. She said her goodbyes to all her friends. She even made contact with Billy and Seth, "Any news?"

"No, Bella, he'll come back when he's ready," is what Billy told her.

She dropped her eyes toward the ground and said, "I'm sorry," again and then hugged them both.

Jacob had been running since that day, from what little information the pack would give her. Seth was the only one that shared any news.

She was exhausted by the time they had boarded the plane to a destination unknown to her. Edward was attentive. He kept reassuring her their life would soon be perfect and they would have forever. That word sounded less and less perfect to her each time he said it. Edward woke her when they landed. He brought her to a pier to catch a charter boat. She had finally figured out they were somewhere in South America. Of all the honeymoon destinations in the world, he had taken them to Carlisle's private island. Who the hell has their own island? The inside was perfectly decorated and fully stocked with anything she might need.

This was the moment all those other months that she had practically begged Edward for. He had always been extremely resistant, but his mood seemed completely altered since they were alone. He came up behind her and pressed his cold lips to her neck. She shivered instantly and he must of mistaken her reaction as desire. It wasn't. It didn't feel the same anymore not since...not since him. How could she go through with it? Jacobs words burned in her memory, "you going to let him touch you how I just did?" He started to try and undress her, she detached her mind from her body. It was probably the only way she wasn't screaming no. Edward was becoming more and more forceful and he pushed her back on the mattress. She was only wearing her her bra and panties since he'd pulled off her dress. His eyes raked over her and she became alarmed when he took a long, deep inhale. His eyes instantly blackened. Her natural fear instinct kicked him. She had always asserted he would never hurt her, but now she wasn't so sure. His hands dug into her skin and she finally opened her mouth in protest.

"Stop Edward, don't you're hurting me." He barely acknowledged her.

"Ahh, you smell so sweet, love. I'm almost overcome by your scent. I need more of you." She started to squirm underneath him. Nothing felt right.

"Stop don't, please Edward." She wasn't sure if he was hearing her, he was in some sort of trance. She resigned herself to the belief he was not going to be able stop. She didn't have the will to care if he killed her, it didn't seem to matter any longer. She had completely broken Jacob and she kept seeing the look on his face before she left. Out of the clear blue Edward gained control and pulled away. He sat up and stared in disbelief. Was he upset with what he had tried to do? She didn't even realize she was crying. She looked towards her body, and saw red pressure marks all up and down her legs and arms. She was going to have bruising.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I never meant to."

She turned away from him and scooted further up the bed.

"I kept saying, stop."

"I know, I'm sorry. I couldn't, it's what I feared would happen. It's not going to work."

She looked down for the covers to pull over herself. It felt wrong for him to look at her even if she wasn't completely nude.

As she was covering up he said the obvious. "I guess you aren't too disappointed in what I just confessed."

"Edward, I...this is all wrong I'm sorry I can't go through with any of it."

"But the wedding, our plans?" he questioned.

"I don't know what I want for certain but it isn't this. I should go."

"Go where? You're going back to the dog, aren't you?"

"No, not right now. I need to get away and figure myself out. Could you help at least? I got accepted at NYU."

"I did not know you applied."

"Yeah, no one does."

"Bella, there's already an account set up in your name. You'll be taken care of."

"What about the Volturi?"

"Really Bella, one human girl in all the world is not the entire focus of the vampire ruling council."

"But you all made it sound like…" she trailed off.

Edward got up to walk around. He was avoiding the truth.

"You bastard, you were manipulating me, using my fear for everyone's safety as a tool to get me to do what you wanted."

"No, not at all."

"Liar...to think I gave up so much for you. I don't even know if I can ever go back."

"I think its best if I leave now. Everything you need will be on the counter tomorrow when you get up. I guess it's definitely for the best I discovered it."

"What?"

"You still smell of him, it repulsed me and that is how I stopped."

"What, how?" she said disbelieving him. It had been weeks.

"You'll find out soon enough, goodbye, Bella."

* * *

She muddled through the next few years at university. She had first thought she would only hide out a few months and then try and make contact with her loved ones back home. Like Edward had warned her, she did soon find out what he had meant. It further complicated all her decisions. It would be bad enough to lose Jake to an imprint ,but it was so unfair to place that burden on an innocent. She eventually made the only choice she could for herself. It was the single most excruciating thing she had ever suffered next to walking away from him.

It was a rarity that she spoke to one of her parents but she made the effort to check in with each of them once or twice a year to let them know she was alive. She simply stated soon after, she and Edward weren't meant to be and had an amicable split. Of course, Charlie begged her to come back and she promised she would some day. Unfortunately for all of them that day never came til Renee called one day three years into her stay in New York. Bella was surprised by her call, she usually waited to hear from her daughter, not the other way around.

"Bella, I'm sorry to say this over the phone but its your father."

"What about Charlie?"

"Sweetie, he had a heart attack on the job."

"Oh my god! Is he alright, what hospital is he in? I can get a flight right away."

"No I'm sorry it was fatal, he didn't make it."

Bella hung up after those words. There was nothing left to say. She had been a terrible daughter and now there would never be any chance to make it up to him. Renee soon called again and ask if she would be willing to travel to Forks and settle the estate, everything had been left to her, of course. It was the end of the term and she had nothing else tying her down. She gathered what little possessions she had and made the journey back to Washington. It was time. She had missed out on the chance to make things right with her father but maybe she could find a way to start making things up to Jacob. She had asked about him, but Charlie said very little. All she knew was soon after her departure, he did come back to La Push.

Once she handled all the legalities, she drove her rental car to the reservation. She felt uneasy about driving straight to the Black's, so she took a walk on the beach instead to work up her nerve. She walked the same path that she and Jake had taken so many times before. It all felt the same even if she knew nothing truly was. She had a seat down on the piece of driftwood and looked out to the sea.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing?" An indignant, feminine voice asked her.

She turned around to see an intimidating person from the past. It was Leah Clearwater.

"I came to handle Charlie's estate. I was hoping to see Jacob," she stuttered.

"Really? And why are you human? We all assumed..."

"Oh yeah, well things with Edward didn't work out."

"Ah, how fucking depressing and you didn't think that was information some of us might have wanted to know?"

"I'm sorry, but I didn't want Charlie to talk about me. I had a lot of growing up to do."

"Sure, whatever you say. Your father's memorial was nice, in case you were wondering. Interesting how you missed it, but showed up to collect the money."

"No Leah, it wasn't like that. I had loose ends to tie up. I've been going to school at NYU."

Leah held up her hand, "Save it, I don't care about your accomplishments. "

They weren't really accomplishments, she went to class and worked at a retail shop. She had very few friends and no real relationships to speak of, but she could tell the less she said to her, the better.

"Bloodsucker or not, you still need to go, you aren't welcome here."

"I know I hurt Jake and let the entire pack down but I still want to try and fix it. I'm sure he's moved on, but I at least want to see him and let him know the truth. Better late than never, right?"

"There's such thing as being too late," was Leah's reply.

"Please tell me where Jake is."

"You really want to see Jacob?" Bella shook her head. "Fine, I'll show you. Give me your keys, I'll drive."

Bella handed her keys to Leah and followed her back to the car. She climbed inside and allowed her to drive her to Jacob. Her stomach was tied up in knots. What if he was already with his imprint? Maybe it was too late. She wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans. Bella had no idea where they were driving. There weren't any houses around and the road had become bumpy and seemed less traveled. When Leah finally slowed to a stop, she became even more confused. Cemetery. Why were they at the cemetery?

"Come on, what are you waiting for?"

She climbed out of the car and tentatively followed her. It made no sense that they were at the reservation's cemetery. Charlie was buried in Forks, she had already made that emotional visit as soon as she got to town.

"Does Jacob work here?" Was literally the only thought that entered her mind.

Leah kept on walking, making zigzags around various headstones, carefully avoiding walking over anyone's grave. Finally, she stopped at one of the newer graves. Bella knew after visiting Charlie, the dirt was piled a few inches off the ground where he'd been laid to rest.

She still expressed her confusion, "Why?"

Leah nodded toward the polished granite and Bella's eyes came into focus. "NO!" She screamed. She fell to her knees in front of it. The name she read: Jacob Ephraim Black. Above his name, in smaller letters, it said beloved son, brother, friend. How could this be true? When she remembered him, he was young and strong and so alive. What in the world could have happened? She sobbed into her hands. Her mind raced with possibilities. Was it a rogue vampire or a tragic car wreck like his mother? Minutes ticked by before she could ask.

"How?"

"He quit phasing in the months after he came back. He'd become too weak to shift any longer."

"Weak? What made him weak?"

Leah frowned at her. "Our legends suggested it, but we didn't know if it was true until it actually occurred. The wolf can't survive without his imprint."

"Oh, so Jacob imprinted? Why would she leave him? What kind of woman was she?"

"A real selfish bitch, that's what she was." Leah Clearwater stared at Bella with such hatred, she didn't even blink an eye.

Bella thought about what she had just said about Jacob's imprint and then the truth finally came to her.

"I...no, it can't be. He never said. Why? How could he not tell me?"

"Because, he was stubborn or stupid. I don't know, he wouldn't discuss it. Maybe he thought you should love him enough without it. Obviously you didn't."

Bella made it up off the ground. "I always knew he'd find her and leave me." Everything she had done had been wrong. She lived a miserable life and now Jacob was gone forever and all her chances were eliminated. She didn't even have a piece of him because of her screwed up mentality and foolishness.

"So he became weak and died because I left and he thought I was a vampire?"

"Let's just say, he sped up the process because it was taking too long naturally."

"What does that even mean?"

"Jacob's only companion those last 2 years was a bottle of Black Velvet, pretty much a new one everyday. He was not phasing and he wasn't well, the alcohol took its toll on him. We tried everything, no one could get through to him. So almost a year ago, he finally succumbed to it. I saw it as a slow, not so deliberate suicide."

"None of what you're saying sounds like Jake at all. I can't believe he would do that to himself."

"The Jacob you knew disappeared the day you left him in his front yard. You're wrong. He did do all that I said. We saw it first hand, you weren't here."

She knew it was all her fault. She had no idea what to do next. "Billy, can I see him?"

"Hell no, he's in no shape to see the likes of you. He just buried his best friend, his brother in every way that counts. It hasn't even been a full year since Jacob and his illness has progressed. The doctor is worried he might lose a leg eventually. You stay away from him. Haven't you done enough damage?"

Bella cried some more. She didn't want to make it worse for Billy.

"Okay, but can you tell him I'm so sorry and I love him. I'll be at Charlie's for the time being." She didn't know why she let Leah know that last part. It wasn't like any of them would ever want to see her again but at least they knew, just in case.

Bella was headed back home barely able to see the road at times because of her despair but she had to make one final stop when she got to town.

She went into Hyde's liquor store and bought their biggest bottle of Black Velvet they sold. She had to ask for assistance. She hadn't even known the type of liquor it was, but if whiskey had been Jacob's choice, she desired to make it hers as well.

The weeks began to blur into each other. Bella ignored that a new semester was starting soon. She supposed she was an official drop out with only one year left. She'd majored in journalism but what was she really ever going to write? She never planned to have an audience. It didn't matter. Nothing did. She didn't even need a job. Charlie's house was paid for and she had a decent nest egg from his life insurance and pension. She still had some of the money left over from the account Edward gave her for school. If she ever needed more, she could ask them, but she didn't correspond with any of them. Alice had tried in the beginning. Surprisingly, even Rose sent her an email telling her she had finally chosen right.

If they could see her now, none of them would have believed it. She barely went out. It was only out of necessity for what little food she consumed, that she was ever seen in public. The liquor store was where she made her largest contributions. She didn't even have high utility bills. She spent many days without even turning on a light. Some days she skipped showers as well. She'd just sit and stare out a window or at wall most of the time. Whichever, it made no difference to her. Jacob was gone. It was all she thought about.

In the beginning, she thought she was sure to fail again. She didn't see how she could ever use Jacob's drink to numb her pain. It burned her throat and stomach. She gagged on the tiniest of sips, but she kept trying. Soon, she learned to relish the burn and hold it down. The hurdle came when she became adept at drinking larger quantities. Half the time, she spent the whole night on the bathroom floor with her head against the toilet. It was misery and satisfaction all rolled into one.

She kept reminding herself he did this because he was suffering physically and mentally all because of her. The fact made her more and more determined to perform the same torture to her body.

A good six weeks had passed when a knock came to her door. No one visited, so she had no idea who it could be.

She slowly opened up to find Leah Clearwater was again in her face. "Holy shit. It's true. What in the hell do you think you're doing, Swan?"

"None of your business," Bella replied as she tried to slam the door in her face, but Leah was quicker and stronger so she pushed her way inside. She slowly examined the place and wrinkled her nose. Bella had always been neat and tidy just like her father. That is why Leah had never seen his place in such a state.

She made the comment that the house smelled like rotten food and stale liquor but the worst out of all was Bella herself. "Ugh, you're disgusting. When is the last time you showered? There has two be several different episodes of vomit in your hair."

She didn't remember or care. "Why are your here, Leah? You made it perfectly clear that you hate me and everything is my fault. "

"Yeah it is, but get your ass upstairs while I get the garbage out and take a long shower. Soap up twice and meet me out front. We're going to go to dinner."

She had no desire to leave the house but something about saying no to Leah scared her so she did as she had asked. She met her outside by her car.

Leah asked, "Where's your car?"

"I don't have one. That was a rental."

"How do you get around?"

Bella shrugged. She had found out the neighbor's grandson wanted extra money for a class trip at the end of the year, so she had pretty much been paying him for everything she needed. He picked up her grocery list once a week and he kept the lawn mowed. The only thing he couldn't do was go to Hyde's. She actually walked there once a week to get what she needed. The journey back was less than fun each time and once she had dropped a bottle which thoroughly pissed her off. She found that she was needing a little more each day which would eventually call for two trips a week. Come to find out, her walks to the liquor store were what alerted Leah what Bella had been doing with herself, since she didn't leave Forks like they all expected. Seth had seen her. He did a double take, because she didn't look anything like that day he witnessed her marry Edward.

Bella picked at her salad. It probably was the most nutritious item she had attempted to put in her body in weeks. Her lunch companion looked up often from her own plate to stare at her. She didn't say too much, but made a lot of facial gestures: eye rolls, head shakes and frowns.

"How long do you intend to keep this up?"

"What are you referring to?"

"Drinking yourself into oblivion everyday because I told you that's what Jacob did. You never struck me as the whiskey type."

"I'm no type and besides don't you hate me? Why do you care?"

"Maybe I don't care, but Mom and Seth were fond of you and Mom would hate to see something happen to Charlie's daughter. They were close friends. He helped her out when Dad passed."

"Tell her I said thanks for being a friend to Dad. I'm glad to know people cared about him since I wasn't around."

"God you're worse than I thought. Such self pity is an art form. Is that what you majored in at NYU?"

"No, I was a journalism student".

"Ever considering writing to cope with what you're going through instead of getting plastered on a daily basis?"

"Can we go now?" Bella asked. All the references to her crutch had made her start to crave it. It was after one, and she'd usually had a drink by then most days.

The weeks turned into months, seasons changed and holidays came and went. She ignored all of them. It was extremely cold, but Bella was always freezing every morning. Perhaps, it was because she was partially sobered up or because she often dreamed of that perfect heat she had only found that one afternoon in La Push. As soon as she was conscious, she would realize he was only a memory; a figment of her imagination. She had progressed to Black Velvet morning, noon and night, but it still never completely took the pain away. It only took the edge off if she was lucky.

She didn't bother knocking any longer, she let herself in almost once a week. One day she swiped a key and had a duplicate made in case of emergency that she knew one day would occur. "Swan, Jesus...you do know people in Washington have to shovel snow? I barely got to the door. Why don't you pay that pimply faced kid to do that after he finishes getting your food to you."

"I stopped asking a few weeks ago."

"What the hell do you eat besides your liquid medicine?"

"I don't know granola bars, pop tarts…" her voice trailed off.

"When's the last time you cooked?"

"Leah, if you came here to nag, please leave I have a headache." Her head was always pounding.

"Alright, but I could get some of the guys to come by and do the driveway and the sidewalk, at least."

"No, I know they aren't comfortable being around me."

"It isn't that, it just hurts them still. They don't want this life for you. You know that and Jake wouldn't either."

Bella put her hand up to silence her one and only friend. "Don't…" She guessed that is what Leah was. She talked to her, annoyed her and tried to help, but she didn't want it. She couldn't believe how after their first lunch that she continued to stop by. Bella was shocked to learn a little more about the only female wolf. She was a mother for one thing. At first, she didn't think she wanted to hear anything about that, but then her curiosity was peaked when she realized the age was close.

Bella changed the subject off her pathetic existence to Leah's son. "How's Jackson?"

"Hyper, but he's loving the snow."

"Oh, do you have pictures or videos?"

"Yeah, a few you haven't seen. Hold on." Leah retrieved her phone from her pocket. Bella laughed as she watched her small son makes snowballs and throw some back and forth with his dad. That had been another huge surprise for her. When Leah revealed who she was married to, she thought she was drunker than normal. It was not an obvious pairing.

"He sure favors you," she said as she looked through a few more pictures.

"Lucky kid, but his personality is all his father's so I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to handle another one."

"Wait, are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"Yes, Bella we just found out."

"Oh, that's so nice," she was happy for them. They were good parents, but after the announcement, she started to really crave a drink. Leah got the hint and left her alone soon after. She promised next time to bring some real food.

The days again picked up pace again and before she knew it spring had almost ended and she was face to face with a new summer. She wasn't sure she could make it to the second anniversary. She was completely out of her head when the first one happened the summer before. Leah finally talked her into stepping out on the porch to get some sunshine one afternoon.

"When is the last time you were out here?"

"You know I take a walk or two every week?" No reason to say why, she already knew.

"Yeah, but you always go late in the evening which is dangerous by the way. You're lucky you have silent protectors." Bella frowned, she never wanted anything from the pack. She didn't deserve it.

"Listen, Bella. We really need to have a serious talk. You're probably less than a hundred pounds. You look as close to a walking corpse I've ever seen besides a vamp. Your pores actually excrete 80 proof. This has to stop. Let me take you somewhere to get some help. I don't want to go through it again. Yes, you fucked up, but you weren't the only one. He was so damn stubborn. All he had to do was tell the truth. It would have made all the difference. The two of you were victims of bad timing and miscommunication. Come on, you left the bloodsucker because you didn't want to be the undead, but that's all you are now. I hated you for what Jacob went through, but not anymore. Please let me save you even though you don't want saving. Do it for us if you won't do it for yourself."

Bella was in tears by the time Leah finished her speech. She wanted to be able to say yes, but it wouldn't do any good. It was already too late. Any treatment facility would want to get to the bottom of her issues. Those goals were unattainable. She wasn't going to give them up, they were all she had left. Leah left that afternoon with a heavy heart. She could tell. There was no point to even tell her she'd think about it, because that would have been a lie.

A few nights later, Bella woke up with a start. She swore someone was in the house. She was on the couch. Most nights it wasn't worth it to try and climb the stairs in the end. She let her swirling head fall back to the cushions, it must have been the house settling. Who knew how much time had passed before she heard it again, but that time she heard her name.

"Bells," was barely a murmur. That wasn't right, no one that remained called her Bells. She pushed up on the couch and tried to get her bearings. "Bells, come back to me."

"Jake," she breathed out. It was him, she was sure of it. She wiped her eyes and tried to focus. She couldn't tell which direction his voice came from, so she looked all around. Finally, the curtains moved and she saw him in the glow of the moonlight streaming through the window. He looked exactly the same as she remembered. "I'm here, Jacob. I'll never leave again." Was he real or was she the midst of some intoxicated dream? That was nothing new to her, but this vision of him in Charlie's house had never occurred. She had to go to him and see if she could touch him. She got off the couch and stumbled over her own feet, but the closer she got; the clearer it became. He was truly in the room with her. She had almost made it to his side, when he spoke again. "Come back to me, Bells. I'll be waiting." Her hand extended out but all she felt were the sheers. That was it, Jacob was gone. Whether she'd dreamt it, imagined it or it was real; she believed she was going to do just as he had requested.

"Come back to me, Bells." That's exactly what she was about to do.

* * *

Leah's POV

Leah was shocked when she found an empty house. She didn't think she had ever come in once in the past year to that. She searched everywhere, but Bella was gone. A couple of empty bottles could be seen in the kitchen. That was the norm.

She decided to check in with the guys just in case one of them knew something. Quil was outside when she stopped at the pack's usual hangout.

"Hey, she's gone. Did anybody see anything?"

"No, but she must have found a ride somewhere. What are you thinking?"

"It's not good. You wanna help me look?"

"Of course, but where do we start?"

Leah thought about it and for some reason her mind went back to the beach where she had first discovered her that day. "Let's try the beach."

The pair drove quickly across the reservation and pulled into a parking space. They got out and headed towards the pieces of driftwood. Quil made a strange face. Even though she no longer phased, she caught the scent as well.

"Stop...it was recent but you don't want to see her like that."

Leah ignored his concerns, "No, I have to, maybe we can still help." But when they got closer, she realized there was no chance. Bella had succeeded in following in Jacob's footsteps. She was reclined against the driftwood probably dead less than hour according to Quil. A framed picture still stuck under her arm. Leah requested that he go back to her car to retrieve a blanket out of the trunk she kept for days she took Jackson to the beach. She wanted her covered up, Bella was always cold.

He came back with the blanket and the phone pressed to his ear. He had to call it in. As luck would have it, Leah's younger brother worked with the emergency unit on the rez. He was able to supervise what had to be done.

The other worker asked about her history. "Was she sick?"

Leah looked at Quil and Seth and answered truthfully, "Yeah, Bella Swan had been very ill for a long time."

Before they left, Seth passed the only items she had on her. He gave his sister the picture and the item he pried from her fingers.

Leah held up the piece of plastic and Quil looked at it curiously.

"What's that?"

Leah knew exactly what it was, but she didn't want to go into details. She felt the need to protect Bella's privacy even in death. "It's a hospital bracelet."

"For what? A kitten. I've never seen one that small."

Leah pushed it into her pocket. "I'll make sure they bury it with her along with the picture."

"The picture's nice. They were so happy that day. I actually took it. We'd all been goofing off in the garage and Bella ordered pizza for all of us. We stayed up late and watched cheesy horror movies. They were curled up on the couch together. It was right before the bloodsucker returned and ruined it all."

Leah said she was going to make a bunch of copies so they all could have one. She knew Billy would appreciate it. He was fading fast. This might be all his broken body and heart could take. He had asked countless times to see her, but the pack never allowed it. However, one day, Leah did pass on Bella's message and he told her to send his love as well.

"I can't believe I failed both of them," was Leah's tearful regret.

Quil came in closer and put his arm around her. "No, that's far from the truth. You did all that you could for both of them. It was out of our hands the day she left him. They were both too far gone to ever come back. At least they both knew someone cared."

Leah told him, "Billy told me a while back if something happened, he wanted her buried next to him."

"I think that's appropriate and then we can visit them together."

Leah, looked out at the waves and thought about all the clues she had missed over the past year. She now had a clear picture of why Bella was so overcome with guilt. It was for more reasons than she had ever imagined. "Damn, Swan, I'm so sorry," she whispered into the breeze.

"Maybe they're finally together and at peace," Quil pulled her from her thoughts. That was what she hoped as well. It was the only thing that made the tragedy bearable.

She turned around to see him staring at her. "What?"

"Nothing...I guess I just realized how much I like you. You're a good person, Leah."

"Gee, thanks. I kinda thought that was already the case, when you married me three years ago, dumbass."

He pulled her in for a tight embrace and kissed her forehead. "Naw, that was just for the sex, but now I'm sure of it. I really really like you," he joked.

"Come on, my Mom is probably climbing the walls by now watching your offspring and your daughter is getting hungry in there. I need food." They started back towards the car, hand in hand so they could head back to Sue's to see Jackson and inform the others the not so shocking news.

* * *

_Sixteen years later_

Leah had to drop her daughter off at a meeting in the council hall. She was in a new group at school and they were going to be doing some community service projects. She went inside to check how long the meeting would last before heading back out to her car. As she was opening the door, she noticed a young women. She looked lost and strangely familiar. _It couldn't be_, she told herself, but she couldn't drive away without having a closer look.

"Excuse me, Miss, do you need some help?" she asked the beautiful young woman.

The girl turned to face Leah full on and she knew her suspicions had to be true, but how?

"Hi, um…" she wiped a tear or two from her eyes. "I was wondering where the cemetery was."

"It's a little ways from here. I can show you. Did you drive?"

"No, I took a cab, but it left already."

"Oh, well...I'll be happy to take you. I have a few free hours."

Leah introduced herself and started asking a few questions trying not to overwhelm the poor girl who already seemed emotional.

"My name is Maria. I came here because I've been searching for my birth parents for over a year. My search led me here, but when I went inside with the names I had someone at the information desk said my parents passed away. Maybe you knew them. I'm still hoping it isn't true. Jacob Black, Bella Cullen?

"Yes, I knew both of them and I'm very sorry, but it is true. Swan, by the way. She went by Swan, but maybe I can answer some of your questions. I actually was close to both of them."

"Oh, okay, I can't believe I'm too late." she wiped her eyes some more.

They made it to the cemetery and got out. Leah led Maria to the graves and let her have a moment to take it in.

"Wow, they were both so young and almost two years to the day. What happened?"

Leah tried to think of the best way to put it. This girl had obviously traveled great distances and her heart had already been broken. There was no need to crush it even more.

"It was complicated. They both had some tough breaks and didn't cope well. I feel like they died of broken hearts."

"Both of them?"

"Yes."

"Well, do you know if they loved one another?"

"Most definitely, too much probably."

"Oh, well...my Mom told me that a young woman had to give me up, but that she left a letter behind. It was anonymous. I use to read it constantly after I turned 16 when my Mom finally shared it with me. She admitted she accidently saw a name she wasn't supposed to see one day in the lawyer's office. She wrote it down: Isabella Marie Cullen. After I turned 18, I started a search. Recently, I was led to a family in Alaska, but when I contacted them a lady named, Rose told me Bella didn't live with them. I asked a few questions because I had found out Bella was married to a man named Edward Cullen. I assumed he might be my father, but Rose told me that I should look up the name Jacob Black from the La Push reservation."

Leah had to know, "Did you have a good life? I know it must have worried Bella those few years. She regretted letting you go everyday."

"Yes, my parents were good to me. They wanted a child for a very long time, but couldn't have one. I was an only child."

"So was Bella."

Maria looked back at the headstones again. "Do you believe in an afterlife?"

"My people teach us that it's real, so yes I do."

"I hope they are together."

"I truly believe they are, Maria. I feel their presence right now. They are so proud of you. I'm positive. You look like the perfect combination of both of them, you know. I tell you what, if you want to swing by my house; I have a picture you should have."

Leah came back out to the front yard with one of the copies they had made of the picture all those years ago. Maria studied it for a long time until the noise of an engine distracted her. Leah recognized her son coming up the driveway. He waved.

"Who's that?" she asked.

"That's my son, Jackson Quil Atera."

"Handsome…" Maria commented.

"Yes, he likes to think he's the most handsome, eligible bachelor in all La Push, but seriously, he's a great kid."

"Hey, Jackson come over and meet my new friend."

Jackson walked across the yard and approached his mother and Maria.

"Maria, Jackson...Jackson, this is Maria." she introduced them. Maria held out her hand and Jackson held it. Leah saw him make eye contact with the beautiful girl. She took a few steps back when she realized what was happening.

She never would have dreamed that would have occurred, but as she continued to watch her son completely lost in the gaze of Bella and Jake's only daughter; fate proved to be more powerful than any other force on earth. She continued to make her gradual exit so they could have their privacy. She turned towards the sky and made the comment, "Jacob and Bella, somehow you've convinced me that two wrongs can finally make a right. I promise, I'll take care of her. She's family now."

****The end****

_**Thanks so much if you managed to make it through to the end. I swear, once I finish Revival; I'm never doing a sad and depressing story again. Urban Rose wants me to do alternative one that is HEA. Hmmm, I'll think about it. I also have a 1950's era one in the works (yet to be named) that is AH and a lot more light-hearted that focuses on true, young love which overcomes all hurdles life throws at it. There are a few requests for a Paul/Bella fic too and I have an idea, but just need someone to invent a few more hours in the day for me. I appreciate anyone that reads my stories and I hope I can continue to create items that entertain, surprise and move you. **_

_**Always, tonyamic10**_


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